Y’all are gonna roast the shit out of me, but I really have a strong urge to buy toilet paper before all the weirdos start clearing the shelves (which I am fully aware makes me one of the weirdos)
I want one so bad, but I can’t get the husband on board. I have considered just buying it and installing it myself via the “do it anyways and ask for forgiveness” method, but dunno if butt spray is a battle I’m willing to choose yet. I just want to convince him it’s a good idea.
I have a portable one too and it’s not exactly what I’d call discreet but sure gets the job done. Honestly can’t recommend it for travel though because in spite of the “portable” label, it’s terribly bulky and causes me no end of grief when trying to take it on an airplane. Your experience may be different, here’s the one I’ve got.
Thanks for the recommendation, not sure it’s exactly what I’m looking for but I appreciate it all the same. Looks to be missing some key features (such as the carrying strap) that I’ve grown accustomed to.
Get one with a heated seat and he’ll forgive you even if he doesn’t come around to the butt spray. Heated seats are something I never knew I needed and now that I have it I can never go back. I cringe whenever I’m at a friend’s house and I need to sit on their cold toilet seat.
Weirdo here: I hate warm toilet seats. When I sit on a warm seat all I can think about is the hairy, pimpled 400lb ass of the Iowa-bred long haul trucker named Rooster who just finished up his hour-long battle with the consequences of eating a 32 oz bag of beef jerky in one sitting, and is about to go troll for some lot lizard tail.
Doesn’t matter if it’s in my own home, warm seat = Rooster’s ass.
I like my toilet seat like I like my pillowcase - Ice fucking cold.
If you’re that unsure of your abilities, spend a bit more and get one of the replace the whole seat kind of bidets. Literally All I had to do was disconnect the waterline, install the t-junction, then reconnect the waterline. Plug the provided hose into both items, install with some thumb screws and enjoy your wet butthole.
The problem with bidets is that they require electricity and often there isnt any available next to the toilet. So you have to burn your house down and start over from scratch.
Still have my emergency supplies from covid. During the really scarce time, I ended up buying some of those massive rolls that go in public toilets, totalled 2.4km of tissue paper in the box.
We chose to do a little bit of “buying ahead.” Where I would buy one pack of TP, I bought a second one, and when we use the first I’ll get another. Nothing we’re not going to use within a few months anyway, not looking to build a TP throne but just a bit of cushion. We were already mostly doing this anyway since covid because it seems like there’s random shortages here and there that didn’t happen prior, or at least not enough to notice.
Really, nothing beyond what I’d want to have for a natural disaster where we’re on our own for a few days. Trying to be prudent without being a weirdo.
I mean this is the reason there are shortages. People fear shortages, so they buy extra so they wouldn’t be hit with the shortages, actually causing the shortage.
I did. I live alone, so a single bulk pack will set me up for another year - and I was down to one inner-pack left from last year’s purchase. So, fuck it, I’mma lock in my next year’s worth of shitter paper at today’s prices.
Went ahead and grabbed bottled & jugged water too - Not because I think I’ll need it in the next 4 weeks of market downturn, but because if anything DOES go wrong (spring tornado, cyberattack on utilities, etc.) at least I have some on hand.
Doubled my canned good stash as well - Usually I keep 2 cans each of “my usuals” on hand and replace them as I use them, so I made room and stuffed the cabinet full for this spring/summer.
Pro tip: buy a TP pack on whatever trip is one you wouldn’t normally get. Do this every other trip until you have enough TP to last you 2 full normal gaps (the time between needing to buy whatever TP you buy)
Not just for situations like this, but if you’re suddenly unemployed this can be a big deal, too
You’re so aggressive for no reason. I didn’t even remotely suggest I actually bought the TP I was just commenting on my silly thoughts. Lighten up. It has to be miserable being so miserable.
Y’all are gonna roast the shit out of me, but I really have a strong urge to buy toilet paper before all the weirdos start clearing the shelves (which I am fully aware makes me one of the weirdos)
Bidets are good, decreases your TP expenses long term. Just a bit to pat dry.
I wonder where most bidets are manufactured
Buy them now while you can leverage remaining on shore inventory.
Also, get your car maintenance done now.
I want one so bad, but I can’t get the husband on board. I have considered just buying it and installing it myself via the “do it anyways and ask for forgiveness” method, but dunno if butt spray is a battle I’m willing to choose yet. I just want to convince him it’s a good idea.
If he doesn’t like it he doesn’t have to use it.
He’s scared he’ll like it to much.
It’s true… we all do.
They’re very easy to install. It’s almost as easy as installing a shower head.
There are also compact battery powered portable handheld bidets that work about as well as the real thing. I have one I take with me on trips.
I have a portable one too and it’s not exactly what I’d call discreet but sure gets the job done. Honestly can’t recommend it for travel though because in spite of the “portable” label, it’s terribly bulky and causes me no end of grief when trying to take it on an airplane. Your experience may be different, here’s the one I’ve got.
Roflmao
Maybe I should upgrade…
This is what I use at work:
https://a.co/d/clAv3hV
It’s just a cap that you can put on almost any soda bottle or water bottle.
I keep an old 20 oz soda bottle in my office to use with it.
Great for travel and very discreet.
Thanks for the recommendation, not sure it’s exactly what I’m looking for but I appreciate it all the same. Looks to be missing some key features (such as the carrying strap) that I’ve grown accustomed to.
I travel with one of these. It’s much better than not having one, but the one bolted to my toilet works much better
Ah yes, the old “two person” bidet. Truly the sign of a committed relationship.
How many pumps would you recommend for taco night?
The portable one is my rec too. I have a rechargeable one. I refill it with warm or cool water depending on my preference and then bippity boppity.
I like it because it’s also easier to aim and control.
If I was going to get one to hook to the toilet, I’d get the type that’s like a kitchen sprayer attached to hose.
They’re not mandatory if they’re attached. It’s not gonna jump out and douse your butt without you asking.
Assuming your financial decision making for a purchase of that magnitude isn’t at the “we need to make this decision together” threshold: do it.
He doesn’t HAVE to use it just because you bought/installed it.
Yeah, I can get one on Amazon right now for less than $50, so I can definitely afford it with my own spending money. I really should just do it.
I gotta say especially if you live in a warm area…there’s no going back…bidet for life
What is his objection?
Get one with a heated seat and he’ll forgive you even if he doesn’t come around to the butt spray. Heated seats are something I never knew I needed and now that I have it I can never go back. I cringe whenever I’m at a friend’s house and I need to sit on their cold toilet seat.
Weirdo here: I hate warm toilet seats. When I sit on a warm seat all I can think about is the hairy, pimpled 400lb ass of the Iowa-bred long haul trucker named Rooster who just finished up his hour-long battle with the consequences of eating a 32 oz bag of beef jerky in one sitting, and is about to go troll for some lot lizard tail.
Doesn’t matter if it’s in my own home, warm seat = Rooster’s ass.
I like my toilet seat like I like my pillowcase - Ice fucking cold.
Having just spent 2 weeks in japan, I’m not looking forward to my first poop at home. Am going to be looking at cost of upgrading.
just get one that fits under your toilet seat they’re like 40 bucks and take 5 mins to install
Feh, you vastly underestimate how crap I am at plumbing.
Like the comic relief janitor of old, I have a gift for picking up every wrong part before I find the one I need.
They’re thumb nuts, you don’t even need tools. There are pictures. It’s really easy.
If you’re that unsure of your abilities, spend a bit more and get one of the replace the whole seat kind of bidets. Literally All I had to do was disconnect the waterline, install the t-junction, then reconnect the waterline. Plug the provided hose into both items, install with some thumb screws and enjoy your wet butthole.
The waterline for my toilet is inside the cistern
It doesn’t hook up to the wall anywhere you can hook into?
A plumber could, nothing i could self install
The problem with bidets is that they require electricity and often there isnt any available next to the toilet. So you have to burn your house down and start over from scratch.
What kind of fancy bidets are you using?? I’ve never used one that requires electricity, and I’ve spent months in Italy, all over the country.
Dude, trust me… that booty will love you. I never liked it, until my wife got me in to it. I feel fresher than ever.
Alpha bidet is where it’s at
Still have my emergency supplies from covid. During the really scarce time, I ended up buying some of those massive rolls that go in public toilets, totalled 2.4km of tissue paper in the box.
I also have a box of sandpaper
Is that the stuff that needs 3ft per tear before it resembles some sort of protection against stinky finger?
Shit tickets and mountain money come in many denominations.
It’s called Getting in touch with your inner self.
We chose to do a little bit of “buying ahead.” Where I would buy one pack of TP, I bought a second one, and when we use the first I’ll get another. Nothing we’re not going to use within a few months anyway, not looking to build a TP throne but just a bit of cushion. We were already mostly doing this anyway since covid because it seems like there’s random shortages here and there that didn’t happen prior, or at least not enough to notice.
Really, nothing beyond what I’d want to have for a natural disaster where we’re on our own for a few days. Trying to be prudent without being a weirdo.
I invested in a bidet shortly after the pandemic mania. I laugh in the face of toilet paper.
Just wipe your arse on the curtains.
I mean this is the reason there are shortages. People fear shortages, so they buy extra so they wouldn’t be hit with the shortages, actually causing the shortage.
The whole toilet paper thing was hilarious
Which is why I didn’t say I was going to do it. I just said I had the urge to do it, and admitted it was silly and weird, we’re saying the same thing.
I was just adding to what you said
My bad if it came off as aggressive.
No worries
I did. I live alone, so a single bulk pack will set me up for another year - and I was down to one inner-pack left from last year’s purchase. So, fuck it, I’mma lock in my next year’s worth of shitter paper at today’s prices.
Went ahead and grabbed bottled & jugged water too - Not because I think I’ll need it in the next 4 weeks of market downturn, but because if anything DOES go wrong (spring tornado, cyberattack on utilities, etc.) at least I have some on hand.
Doubled my canned good stash as well - Usually I keep 2 cans each of “my usuals” on hand and replace them as I use them, so I made room and stuffed the cabinet full for this spring/summer.
Pro tip: buy a TP pack on whatever trip is one you wouldn’t normally get. Do this every other trip until you have enough TP to last you 2 full normal gaps (the time between needing to buy whatever TP you buy)
Not just for situations like this, but if you’re suddenly unemployed this can be a big deal, too
Buy a fucking bidet
Just take a shower of you’re out of tp, you twat.
You’re so aggressive for no reason. I didn’t even remotely suggest I actually bought the TP I was just commenting on my silly thoughts. Lighten up. It has to be miserable being so miserable.