I went to the HSBC Main Building, rode up the escalator to the retail banking department, and, after some waiting time, asked one exceptionally well dressed clerk for a simple checking account. Mostly, I wanted one because it makes paying for things easier in some specific corner cases. (Fortunately, 95% of the time you’ll be fine with just your Octopus card and any old contactless credit or debit card from wherever you’re from.)

After clarifying I wouldn’t be drawing a HK salary or taking profits from investments in HK securities, the very polite agent let me know that her company wasn’t terribly interested in accommodating me.

I think that’s fair, because there’s like at least half a dozen reasons this business relationship could go bad, and not a lot of upside for the bank. I wasn’t devastated or anything; I was pretty much just curious if it was possible at all, and under which circumstances.

When I went to ICBC in China a week later, I walked out of there with an account and a debit card in my name. Chinese banks just have a lot less abuse to deal with, I’d imagine.