• SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Not the weirdest, but I didn’t realize this until it was pointed out.

    The fascination with work, and how one’s employment or career is tied to personal identity. It’s a basic conversation starter, “What do you do for work?” Not “What do you enjoy doing?” or “Do you have any hobbies?” or “Where do you go to relax?” Nope.

    What to you do for work.

    It’s a weird question that is tied up in judgement and classism. And it’s so normal here

    • Rekorse@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      Trevor Noah has a section about this in a recent standup. Something likei if you ask a European what they do they answer with hobbies, americans answer with their job title.

      • Kira@lemmy.today
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        4 days ago

        Just my experience from germany but when people ask what you do, you usually say what Job you have and where the Company is.

    • r0ertel@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      I’ve found this only to be true in white collar professions. Hanging out with blue collar people, your job rarely comes up, but it’s one of the first questions with white collar people.

      • Revan343@lemmy.ca
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        4 days ago

        It’s definitely true with blue collar workers in Alberta, or at least it was when I still socialized (guess when I stopped)

      • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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        4 days ago

        I grew up blue collar and am still a tradesman. I technically live in the Midwest, but lots of Appalachian people. Of course my social circles include a vast swathe of socio-economic levels so you might still be right.

        I’ll have to watch closer to see if there’s a pattern

        I’d say your definitely correct when it comes to people with “low skill” or high turnover type jobs. If they work at dollar general or McDicks they don’t talk about work much. Also, there’s no such thing as a low skill job, and we all know who was essential and who could stay home for a few months

    • Zink@programming.dev
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      4 days ago

      Good god, yes. This is something I had to break myself from. It is so insidious and pervasive in our culture that I don’t think most of us realize it’s even a thing.

      I’ve been to a lot of outdoor birthday parties this summer, and there are so many boring dads who I will hear strike up a conversation about what’s going on at work. I usually make sure to wander in the opposite direction.

      And I like my job! But the “talk about work” is usually less about interesting projects or creations and more about what has been going on with that individual’s status. Like yeah Kevin I want you to do well at work and enjoy it, but if it’s all the same to you I’m going to go get chased by kids with squirt guns instead of pretending I care about how your manager is impressed by your team’s metrics.

      • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de
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        3 days ago

        but if it’s all the same to you I’m going to go get chased by kids with squirt guns instead of pretending I care about how your manager is impressed by your team’s metrics.

        kids sure know how to have fun. we have a lot to learn from them

        • Zink@programming.dev
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          3 days ago

          More true than most realize.

          After getting through a lot of shit over the past several years, and having a very good & healthy summer, I am convinced that so many of our ills (metal especially) are from this mistaken assumption that more virtual and more high tech and more consumption are positives for our health rather than negatives.

          Like I said, I like my job. I have no problem explaining it to anybody who asks. But the funny thing is, nobody asks, lol. A lot times per year I get the “what do you do” question, but then they’re satisfied with that answer. Many people just volunteer their stories because they think they’re supposed (just learned behavior) to or they’re conditioned to brag about work to feel good & valid.

          But despite my decent job (software for embedded linux systems — totally on brand for Lemmy!) the absolute best time I’ve spent this summer has been getting wet and muddy in the back yard. Literally.

          By turning my hyperfocus and my time and some of my budget towards a big hobby project (upgrading my koi pond) I have set myself up with an activity that gives me:

          • Something good to look forward to
          • Results to enjoy
          • Fresh air
          • Physical exercise, a lot, including lots of lifting
          • Lots of meditative time, even though I physically look very busy
          • Exercising my instinct/desire/need to create things
          • Learning new interesting things that are relevant to the real world but outside my normal area of study/work. In high school I took a hard turn away from chemistry and towards physics. Now I am all about the nitrogen cycle, organic chemistry, oxidation/reduction potential, microorganisms, and so on, in my own way.
          • Opportunity to hang out with my kid and a bunch of our pets with room to run.
      • SirSamuel@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        It is so insidious and pervasive in our culture

        AmErIcAnS DoN’t hAvE A CuLtUrE

        lol j/k

        Yeah pervasive is right. I’d rather talk about the campaign I’m running and what my players did in our last game, but it’s taken a lot of retraining my brain to allow myself to talk about what is fun instead of what I’m “supposed” to do.

        • Zink@programming.dev
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          3 days ago

          ‘allow myself to [do things good for me] instead of what I’m “supposed” to do’ is like a full half of what it took to figure out how to try to enjoy life.