Obviously I’m talking about two adults, I’m just wondering when it goes from okay to “a bit iffy”, either older or younger
My sister’s ex is my mom’s age (25 year age gap). They dated when she was in her late 20s. Honestly they had a great relationship and, while he was a bit “immature” for his age (financially), he was a really awesome dude and they had lots in common. The main reason it didn’t work out was because she wanted kids, and having kids with a man in his early 50s, who aleady had like a 20 year old kid, is difficult.
I think that’s what often causes issues in big age gap relationships, they’re often at different points of family/career development.
The flip side of this is that I met my uncle’s (61) girlfriend, who is, I believe, 25 or 26 and I did get the ick because she’s younger than two of his older children and has braces that make her look a lot younger than that. Most people thought she was a friend of his youngest kids (who are 19). She’s nice though I guess. And my uncle needs therapy, but that’s not necessarily related to this.
Once you’re 30, as long as the other person is in your general age group or older, and the relationship works for both of you, your specific ages don’t matter.
I would say; don’t take other peoples opinion in mind. If you make eachother happy; you are good.
If your question is focusing on the reaction of the average person. I would say the average person walking past you on the street, will not raise their eyebrow unless one of the partners looks underage. Or if the 30 year old looks significantly older than 30.
22-46 is acceptable.
I can’t imagine a 22yo with 30yo.
You are going through such different stages in your lives.
One is most likely still in school, the other may be trying to run their own busuiness, or strive for children. There may be common grounds, but at 22 I would not suggest settling down.
Honestly, I’ve met so many people at either age or older who were at either stage in their life. A 22 yo can be done with their training and fully working, even having their own business while a 30 yo is still trying to find themselves.
Sure, but how common is that? There are exceptions to every rule.
But still at 25 your brain is not fully formed, and as such you may consider some wilder ideas.
Every kid in my high school knew the “half your age plus 7” rule for bounding age gaps:
Age of younger person in the relationship = (Age of older person in the relationship / 2) + 7
So if you are 30 then you can date from 22 to 46. Science!
Though, really, beyond your mid-20s I think you can date as old as you like. As long as everyone is consenting, open, and honest, then have fun.
I’ve always heard the “half your age plus seven” rule (mostly somewhat jokingly) for the appropriate minimum age of your partner. But I read somewhere that it’s origin is from some 18th century manual for finding a wife, wherein it indicated the MAX age of an appropriate wife…
I think you stumbled upon the Republican manual for dating in the 21st century
The half + 7 also makes it more likely that the two of you have some overlapping life experiences which helps a lot with compatability.
50 and 32? Maybe, I guess?..
More likely than 50 and 22…
I’m 100 years old! Gonna get me a niiiiiiice 19 year old!
What? I don’t give a shit about your little dating rules. I’m 100! I’m gonna get my dick wet using money that won’t be usable in 2 years!
Now then. Who wants to feed me 30 viagra, and get anally pounded for $20,000? Lets get real weird with it!
I’m a so long as both are older than 18 it’s fine kinda person.
Half your age +7 years. 30yo can date 22yo.
I don’t think a 20 year old should date a 17 year old though
I think the rule breaks down any time before ~21 (always round up). In general, if you’re over 18, don’t date someone under 18. If you’re both under 18 idk but probably don’t exceed a two year age gap.
If you’re 19-20, get fucked I guess.
If you’re 19-20, get fucked I guess.
But that’s exactly what they want, and it’s the only thing on their mind! D:
A 10 year old can only date 12 year old and older. I don’t make the rules
But the 12 year old can only date 13 year old and older, so the 10 year old is out of luck…
No dating before 14.
The high school to college transition makes things complicated for reasons other than just ages.
America-centric. Other countries split the education path in different sections.
They could be in a similar phase of life. I was still 17 when I started college and had a full-time job. A 20 year old could still be in high school if they were held back. This is kind of the range where you can start counting months or talking about how different school systems have different cutoff dates that can mess with things.
I would not recommend 20 year olds and 17 year olds date in general. But it’s very possible for two people of those ages to date without being creepy or having problems.
Yeah I meant like legally. Statutory rape and all.
Romeo and Juliet laws are fairly common. 24 states allow a 2 to 5 year age difference. AFAIK, federal law allows up to a 4-year age difference.
The other 26 seem kinda stupid. Two kids can be in the same class and dating since 6th grade, but for 6 months in their senior year, it’s rape. How does that make sense?
There’s gotta be some stricter “rules”. Because 19 dating 15 would be weeeeiiiiiird. It’s always iffy because the older you get. The larger the gap is acceptable. Like 25-10 is gross AF right. But 55-40 isn’t a huge deal.
(Saying “25-10 is gross” and getting downvoted for it is concerning on so many levels. You know who you are you fucking weirdo
If they are both consenting adults and personalities don’t cause a toxic environment what does it matter.
I got a vivid image of two age gapped goons spilling toxic waste into a river while snickering to themselves. Definitely don’t do that. And definitely let me go grab my coffee as I’m still in dream mode.
I don’t think is that much the age (above 18 please) than the knowledge that you are not taking advantage of that person (or knowing that that person is not taking advantage of you though this is harder to notice).
If there’s a huge age gap you will get looks. But the looks of others are not that important as long as you know that what you are doing is right.
Are you taking advantage of the other person because of their age? If yes then don’t do it. If no, please continue.
I can attest to this. I had a 30 year-old friend who I got along with great when I was 19. We hung out all the time and got looks and odd comments when we went out. I knew he was interested, but I never budged and he never took advantage. We’re still great platonic friends to this day, 15ish years later.
Are there any?
If you’re 18+, you’re free to be with whoever you want to be. As long as no abuse is going on in either direction, and both are happy, who am I to judge
16 and 15 shouldn’t date?
That’s not what’s being said. From the context of an adult dating some, 15/16 is too young unless the older person is really close to that age (18, 19 at a push and I only think like that because I’m from somewhere with an age of consent of 16. Places with AoC of 18 would obviously be skewed older).
When one of the people is on the younger side, the old rule of thumb (age of older person/2+7) is a best practice for what would be considered inappropriate.
I was asking if they thought that people under 18 shouldn’t date.
15 and 16 pair work by the 1/2 + 7 rule, but not by “Anything goes 18+” rule
I don’t know, toddlers should be a no go.
I think life situation is probably more important than strictly age. If you’re an independent 30 year old working a full time job you probably don’t want to date a college student that lives with their parents.
I’m 40 now and can’t imagine dating someone younger than 30. People change so much between 20-30 that the person you start with may not be the person you end with. People should never quit growing and learning. But I want to know that the person has enough life experience and stability to be a reliable partner. That being said, I also hold older women at an arms length because in my experience they tend to want more control. I don’t want control or to be controlled. I want an equal partnership with respect and love. I understand that that changes depending on the person but IN GENERAL I would go -7 or +5. There are exceptions to that based on maturity, intellect, vibe, etc.
I know a relationship therapist with a list. Everyone needs to be:
- Legal.
- Capable of enthusiastic consent.
- Enthusiastically consenting.
- Respectful.
- Aware of each other’s expectations.
Check the boxes and have fun.
Half the older age plus 7.
That’s subjective. Two adults can do whatever they want. The rest is just other people’s opinions and those opinions can also be “a bit iffy”. The more you listen to other people’s arbitrary morals, the iffier things get and you soon realize you should just have followed your own intuition to begin with.
