Edit: I just learned from a comment on another post here that it’s literally the only rule for this community. Thanks @db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com for taking out the trash.
I just ran into several comments all saying this. If you’re going to be policing this community for “normal human behavior” you’ve certainly got a lot of work cut out for yourself. Almost everything about ADHD is an exaggeration of normal human behavior, we don’t randomly tweet like birds or wear silly hats, it’s the exaggeration that makes it a disorder.
It’s also really invalidating and it’s the same gaslighting crap that we’ve had fed to us by jerks our whole lives.
Yeah, the amount of people saying and upvoting that stuff is just depressing. Hopefully things get better with time. I have no problems with people thinking that stuff and being corrected from time to time but multiple people saying that stuff under every x post is just too much.
I think it’s because a bunch of people are just looking at the everything feed instead of just their subscribed comms (myself included), because it’s easy to handle right now with lemmy not having an enormous userbase. But these people obviously know where they’re commenting if they’re saying that.
I mean I don’t come into your house and basically tell you you’re just imagining your problems. It’s ableist as shit.
There’s also the fact that a lot of people have undiagnosed ADHD which makes them think that we’re just making stuff up when in reality they’re also affected by it.
Yeah, those I do have some sympathy for because they’re still living life on hard(er) mode but no matter who you are it’s the sheer volume of knee-jerk reactions that’s annoying.
I looked at your profile and caught some of the nuked comments you made in that same thread I came from. I totally agree, it’s really frustrating to see disinformation repeated a bunch of times with many upvotes, show up with an actual informed opinion, and people downvote you like crazy in minutes.
Another thing I dislike about the situation is the fact that it’s hard to figure out which feedback is actually correct/good when there’s a lot of misinfo with way too good ratio. On reddit there were a lot of well informed people and people didn’t just get thrown adhd post into their faces when they’re not subscribed to it. It would have been really good if there was a way to limit the view of the community/posts to prevent all those comments.
I really like the way it’s put in the post about the rule, but it’s a lot to ask people to casually read if they’re not part of the comm. I see it as growing pains, so I know once lemmy is past the point of being easier to browse everything than curate your subscriptions and watch for new communities it will improve.
Plus the mods at the ADHD were like hardcore bouncers on steroids when it came to maintaining a healthy community for the intended audience. That’s not a comparison with db0, I know almost nothing about him(?), but I certainly like his self-described FAFO policy about breaking the rule.
Congrats on the promotion. Let’s do our best to maintain a healthy community.
Thanks! I agree
I’m dealing with PSTD, and I was lamenting about my anxiety a bit during a conversation with my sister. She then sighed and said “Yeah, we all have anxiety!” And I just…
People who aren’t ND or don’t have mental health issues literally can’t understand it and lots end up minimizing it. My conditions are debilitating. I don’t want to be like this, and people who make me feel like shit for not being able to function very well just make my life so much worse.
Fuck.
I find frequently even people who have the same disability or an adjacent one can say some really ignorant stuff, almost as if their struggles gives them a license to judge others. Relating to others’ struggles is good and validating, but don’t let it turn into a comparison.
Even for myself, I didn’t understand the whole picture of what ptsd can do to you when I was dealing with just anxiety. Now that I’ve experienced it, I understand the fucking sheer terror that is living in hypervigilance mode, it really seems unfathomable if you haven’t been there. And I have no idea if I experience it like others do. Not saying one is worse than the other but they are not just variations of the same thing.
I’m looking forward to the world being a better place when people in general understand it’s best not to try and decide for someone else what their experiences mean to them, and nobody wins when you compare suffering. I hope we make a lot of progress in my lifetime.
Sad PTSD solidarity fistbump. I haven’t told anyone but my husband and a close friend about my diagnosis because I absolutely do not want to deal with the possibility of insensitive shit being said. Avoidance is also a PTSD issue, but since I’m acknowledging it that circles back to being okay again.
I hope you’re able to find a routine and/or medication that gives you some relief. I’m not “fixed” but my meds have definitely helped me.
I think keeping it more quiet is best and not irrational, tbh. Last thing you need are uninformed people giving a half-baked opinion about your mental health.
My ADHD meds actually help me deal with many of the more severe symptoms. I got into specialized therapy very recently, though, so I’m hoping that I will start seeing improvement.
Thank you. PTSD solidarity. 🤜🤛
I have an anxiety disorder that began suddenly due to a traumatic event earlier this year.
I can confidently confirm that I did not know what anxiety was before I felt it, and that I completely misinterpreted when other people talked about anxiety.
Neurotypical people like I used to be, they grow up thinking that anxiety is the same thing as worry, indecision, laziness or mild restlessness. Before I had anxiety attacks, I could, with some effort, turn on or off any emotions I felt. I could just stop worrying by overriding it consciously, and force myself to do something. I could stop crying and try and have a positive or neutral outlook when I was sad, and usually it’d work. The fucking horror that I felt when my own body took me on a whole rollercoaster ride I didn’t want to be on, I never even considered that that was what anxiety meant all along.
The difference between being in control of your own consciousness and emotions, and being a passenger to your own brain was HORRIFYING.
It felt so terrible realizing that all the times I thought to myself or even said to others that they should overcome their anxiety in this or that way were terribly misguided. I thought that anxiety was the same as nervousness, or the little spark in your tummy when you are excited or happy (just a negative version of it), that those were synonyms, that anxiety was just overthinking or worrying which could be overcome with the right change of pace or attitude.
The biggest revelation to me was that anxiety is mostly a physical symptom, not a thought or an attitude/idea.
Thank you and bless you for sharing.
People often seem to conflate “having chronic anxiety” with “being anxious” and cannot understand that they are not the same thing.
Removed by mod
Actually sometimes I do, because I have diabetes 😂
But what about the other side of the spectrum, where everyone is going around saying “yeah, I’m a little OCD” and it undermines people trying to actually talk about their actual life-impairing OCD.
Surely, we don’t want to downplay the severity of symptoms by just accepting “omg I’m so ADHD bc I got bored of this thing”
I dated a woman with OCD. It is not at all like what pop culture thinks.
I genuinely don’t believe anyone anymore when they say they have ADHD
Or DID, or autism, or BPD.
It’s also hard to verify whether they actually have OCD or not, since OCD lies not only on a spectrum, but also differs in terms of the subjects being obsessive compulsive over.
I myself am lucky to only have a mild form of OCD that I had to learn to live with throughout my younger years. My OCD fixations are 1. having to do something an even number of times (can’t just have one dumpling or three, gotta have two or four; can’t just click my mouse like a normal person, gotta find some empty space to do another click to even it out, or spam it till my lizard brain is satisfied) and 2. having to go back the way I came (even if it meant walking a longer route), and if I don’t satisfy those, I get extremely anxious.
Those fixations were quite severe when I was young and it got me into a lot of trouble. Over the years, though, I’ve managed to suppress most of it and learn ways to deal with the rest, and I am very grateful to even be able to do that. Seeing other people living with their OCD is a humbling experience.
(To be clear, I’ve never been diagnosed. I come from a culture that basically tells you to suck it up and deal with it, and “mental illness” just basically meant “insane” to my people, so me saying what I have is OCD is based off of personal experience and a bunch of self-research; it might even just be a different mental disorder, like how Jon Richardson found out his “OCD” was actually OCPD, but I don’t know for sure. I’m not worried, though.)
I agree, and it drives me crazy when people say that about OCD. But I think there’s a gap between the extremes, and if I have the potential to be wrong, I’d rather be wrong by being validating.
…
(not arguing, just pondering) Actually now that I think about it, I don’t think it’s the opposite end of the spectrum at all, I think it’s actually the same thing. If you think about it both are coming from not understanding that the disorder is (in my awkward words) the exaggeration of normal human behavior, specifically the exaggeration. Being able to relate to it isn’t enough perspective alone.
Had a coworker say everyone has binge eating disorder when I mentioned I have that in a discussion. He was visibly disgusted when I asked him if everyone, during times of great stress stress, consumes an entire cake in one sitting and tries to eat more than their bodies can physically handle.
My eating disorder isn’t that bad anymore, but it was that bad at one time. I regressed a lot last year after some insanely stressful times, and I’ve been working on getting back to where I was very rarely binging. It’s hard, but I believe in myself.
That’s… sad for him that his perspective is so small. Many people seem incapable of understanding things like this no matter what you say. Hopefully he doesn’t damage someone with his perspective.
I am not that experienced with EDs but I personally think the most important thing with most maintenance is not that you don’t regress, but that you get back on that damn horse when you fall off. You doing that shows self-awareness and willingness to fail and keep trying to work on yourself, which is true strength. So many people easily fall into a spiral of self-hatred and give up, but no, you’re doing the work, and it’s hard. I have good reason to believe in you too.
My coworker is also super transphobic. Dude is really sad to observe.
Thank you for the encouragement! It’s been so hard, especially because I have a very high-stress job and easy access to foods that trigger binges.
On the other hand, when people mistake any kind of forgetfulness or hyperactivity as ADHD, that hurts both them and people with actual ADHD. Let alone if things like “I fall in love with fictional characters” or “I don’t subscribe to gender roles” are suddenly misconstrued as symptoms of a certain condition even though they’re just part of the subculture these people move in and have nothing to do with their mind.
Expand to all other mental illnesses or neurodiversities. I personally have falsely diagnosed myself with so many fake disorders when I was younger, and it hurts to see others go down the same path. The brain loves to see patterns that aren’t there if prompted.
Isn’t wearing a silly hat just an exaggeration of wearing a normal hat?
That tracks. I suppose it depends on whether I’m doing it to attract a mate or just doing it to feel good about myself.
Much like the birds tweeting. Maybe it’s all about the mating … :)
I thought it was birds dancing that was for mating. But then again, I do dance for my girlfriend. Not great for mating, but she always laughs so I’ve got that going for me.
The Ministry of Silly Hats would disagree.
Yeah I do that too. I think everyone does don’t they? (Jk)
Well, I guess to be fair, I do a lot of normal human behavior, like pooping and sometimes imagining inanimate objects have feelings. Maybe I just need to lighten up? 😛
I’ve met this life; silly hats are a must.
