Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without “the following regions:”, it would be more Cave Johnson.
The enumerations would work if he’s reading it as a press release, probably uncomfortably, and with a few asides to an off-screen character about how he doesn’t like it
I’m not sure whether I want this to be read by GLADOS or Cave Johnson. Both would deliver the hell out of these lines.
It was Cave Johnson for me.
I just read it twice, with both, in my head.
Cave Johnson was funnier.
I read it as GLaDOS first and got a little smile, then went back and reread it as Cave Johnson and laughed.
For Cave, the signoff would be:
I’m Cave Johnson, don’t @ me.
Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without “the following regions:”, it would be more Cave Johnson.
The enumerations would work if he’s reading it as a press release, probably uncomfortably, and with a few asides to an off-screen character about how he doesn’t like it
On second thought, could be 1980s Cave Johnson, when Aperture was seriously in decline.
With irritated paper-shuffling noises.
I prefer the robotic announcer with the fake uplifting tone
emergency testing initiative voice from the start of P2, just for the maximum level of unpersonness
JK Simmons would do this press release proud.
I think specifically Portal 1 GLADOS.