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Lesbians… Those bitches be (statistically) crazy
FWIW, she was cleared and her ex-wife charged with making false statements.
So there’s never been crime in space?
Wonder who will be first
This shouldn’t be omitted from the meme. Astronauts are some of the most level-minded people in this world, given the risks they face every moment.
I don’t think jealousy or insecurity would be a common occurrence given how busy they are.
Didn’t they used to be pulled from test pilots?
When there was just one to three guys in a capsule, yes. The Shuttle brought in a lot more scientists on board.
Yeah, but Buzz Aldrin is still alive and he’s definitely still his own variety of batshit insane given him beginning his fourth marriage at 93 years old.
The whole of the Apollo 11 crew didn’t just go to the moon, they did it after the initial crew were incinerated.
The shuttle crews looked for responsible people of exceptional skill. But the early astronaut crews were looking for adrenaline junkies with advanced degrees in science and engineering and experience flying in incredibly dangerous conditions.
Actually, there was a high profile and notorious case of a female NASA astronaut and Naval officer named Lisa Nowak, who was placed on trail and convicted of felony burglary and misdemeanor assault charges. This all stemmed from an affair she was having with a fellow astronaut named Bill Oefelein, who both of them were married to different people at the time.
When Bill decided to call the affair off and started to see another woman, an Air Force Captain named Colleen Shipman. Lisa had an emotional breakdown and after her own marriage had failed. Planned on possibly kidnapping Colleen. She was eventually arrested at Orlando International Airport that she had followed Colleen to. Besides the criminal convictions listed above, she was dismissed from NASA and demoted in rank and forcibly retired from the Navy.
I don’t know man, this seems like an obvious case of alien body snatching. They just never learned to act like regular humans.
Don’t forget about the part where she wore a diaper while driving so she wouldn’t have to make any pit stops.
Considering that’s standard procedure in space flight take offs, it doesn’t sound soooo weird
You aren’t pulling 7 g’s in a space suit lying horizontal with fifty thousand pounds of hydrozene fueling a giant rocket with no off switch when you’re driving down the road in a car. Some situations are different than others.
Wild how emotional trauma can change people huh.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Nowak
There are exceptions to the whole level minded thing.
I know this is the poop drive without even opening the link.
Among other things.
Putting those diapers to good use
Well she says she did not use them (I guess just shitting in place)
“She drove her husband’s car 900 miles (1,400 km) from Houston, Texas, to Orlando, Florida, to confront Shipman. Early police reports stated that she wore Maximum Absorbency Garments during the trip, but she later denied this.”
From Wikipedia, but it must be noted the trip was made by herself in such a short time that poop had to happen.
The diapers might have been for the target of her little roadtrip rather than herself, because the other things she packed sounded like a shitty kidnapping plan.
Having bowel movements as infrequently as a few times a week is still considered healthy. Perhaps not as healthy as daily, but that isn’t the point of this discussion. Doing the speed limit in most areas of North America means this trip could be done in about 14 hours, plus fueling time (I’ve done a similar trip in 10). If she sped just 10% over the speed limit, which is generally considered little enough to not attract the attention of the police in my area, she could have done it in less than 13. Not only is it conceivable she could have done this without having to poop, if she managed her fluid intake, she quite possibly could have done this without having to pee.
None of this has any bearing on whether she did poop or pee, but she was an astronaut, and astronauts are known for their ability to plan ahead. And I suspect any denial issues she had (what else is going to make you think continuing a relationship with a kidnapping is going to have a happy ending?) didn’t revolve around her waste elimination processes. So she could very well have worn undergarments to deal with those problems as a precautionary measure and just not used them.
Sometimes you gotta poop in the McDonald’s bathroom despite everything you know about life.
From what I remember about the trip, she would not have had time. It was a road trip that made the cannonball run look tame.
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Yeah but what the hell am I supposed to do woth this novel drsft Lesbian Space Criminal Lovers now?
Why was I not told sooner the story was a lie???
“lesbians are accused in 100% of space crimes” is a much less fun statistic.
Lesbians continue to flaunt their spotless space criminal record
i dont want to have to see them not do crimes, please do that in your own room
The original statement is still vacuously true so your can keep saying it :D
I thought some of the Apollo astronauts were illegally enriching themselves by selling a service where they would take people’s stuff to the moon in their private gear allowance, and then give it back.
The Apollo 15 crew got in trouble for something like that, postage stamps I think.
Smuggling moon rocks back to Earth to be sold on the black market is also pretty lucrative iirc.
Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Identity Theft doesn’t quite have the same ring to it
Best band name ever.
I think that makes for a better album name
Headlining this Friday night! With special guest Gay Zombie Super Soldiers! $10 at the door, 21 and up, doors open at 8pm.
“Falgsith” for short
Wait when did it change from laser to luxury I missed the update
Welcome to the future, old man
Your Honor, with all due respect, my client can only be put on trial by a space judge and a jury of her space peers
A jury of astronauts would be kind of fun if it were possible for them not to know each other already, but I don’t think that’s possible with the current number of astronauts
sure it is, if they add bezos and katy perry or whatever
i’ve been on an airplane, that doesn’t make me a pilot
yeah but are you super rich?
Is ISS network traffic monitored? Because if it is, this was a really dumb crime.
Even without monitoring, it probably has a unique IP/subnet that shows the traffic came from the ISS. And the financial institution is definitely recording IPs.
To my understanding, she wasn’t determined to have actually committed it, just was accused
Yup:
The claims were later found to be false, and McClain was cleared.[28] On April 7, 2020, Worden was indicted on two charges of making false statements.
So the person who’s identity was stolen blamed someone who was literally in space at the time? LOL
Please tell me this entire thing wasn’t an elaborate add for NordVPN.
OnBoard VPN
It’s probably fully recorded. Everything in and out.
That way if there’s a mishap it’s possible to go back and reconstruct the entire sequence or to replay high fidelity simulations of the network traffic at the equipment to reproduce problems.
Probably safe to assume that it is.
Bringing “Be Gay Do Crime” to another level
Straight female astronaut drove 900 miles to confront her rival.
https://www.biography.com/musicians/lisa-nowak-lucy-in-the-sky
Yeah but she wasn’t in space just had a space diaper.
Distinction without a difference. If you’re wearing the space diaper you’re basically experiencing everything there is to experience about space.
Jane Fonda has entered the chat…
There’s also an astronaut currently in jail for, I think, manslaughter? Killed someone while drunk driving? Question mark?
Man, if you get run over by a rocket, even if the drivwr is drunk, I feel like its your own damn fault. Those suckers are huge.
Sounds like there may be a jurisdiction problem.
Didn’t someone already commit theft in space?
Yeah, she stole my heart
username checks out
There was also the hole drilled in the ISS. AFAIK, nobody was ever held responsible but it was definitely vandalism at least.
That was in a soyuz and the leading theory on that was it was done on the ground
Was it ever confirmed to be intentionally drilled? Last I heard, they were still in the “it could have simply been a piece of space dust moving insanely fast” part of the investigation.
Yeah, the area around the hole had marks from the drill bit slipping and it was haphazardly patched and hidden.
smash the patriachy by being the first criminal in space.
Is space international waters? Does anything go?
Ships in intl waters are still governed by the laws of their flag state. I don’t see why this wouldn’t also apply to the ISS as a US-flagged vessel
Edit: I assume the modules are flagged differently. I imagine Zvezda and the Soyuz’s are flagged Russian, etc. or maybe the ISS is jointly flagged under US and Russian laws at the same time. Or the laws of the citizens home country is applied individually or something.
Are you saying that the simpsons lied to me?
That should be a romcom with Adam Sandler.
Someone with musical talent, please start a band and name it “Lesbian Space Crimes” 😆
God forbid women do anything
