Imagine a barista with a pin that says “Here are some of the soft skills that this job demands and which I lack.”
Yeah, this really is one of those things where if you’re not okay with a little idle chatter, it’s probably not the right job. And I say that out of admiration for baristas and other service workers. I tried working a service sector job when I was young and I didn’t last long. I just wasn’t any good at it.
I feel bad for folks who are introverted and not particularly strong. Almost every job with a low barrier to entry demands a lot of physical or emotional labour.
I was thinking about gamifying spoon theory in a similar manner.
It’s in Balatro style. Normally, you have a limited number of spoons each day, which you need to spend on doing things. If you overspend one day, it will raise your burnout levels and your meltdown chance, as well as having less spoons for the next few days. However you can gain various extra spoons and/or kitchen utensils, so you can have a better chance at surviving the day.
One spoon is enough for me thanks
I’m literally eating with my hands right now.
I’m a big proponent of fork theory.
Basically, fork this shit we are all forking forked.
Isn’t spoon theory just a convoluted way of saying you have limited energy for daily life activities?
Yes but for some reason when you tell people you don’t have energy they don’t believe you. Because they think mental energy is an infinite resources you can just force out or something
Yes. Why spoons? Makes no sense.
I like to use D&D’s concept of spell slots. Some activities are cantrips, I can do them every day no problem. Other activities may need a leveled spell slot, and depending on what else I need to do I might not have a spell slot available, or may need to use a higher level spell slot for a low-level activity.
Main difference is a long rest IRL doesn’t always give me all my spell slots back.
From the wiki, the idea comes from an essay that somebody has written about a conversation they had with a friend about the struggles of chronic illness. The conversation took place at a restaurant, and she grabbed the spoons for use in a metaphor because there were spoons nearby. She gave her friend a set of spoons, and every time her friend mentioned doing a task, she took a spoon away.
It could have been anything, but spoons happened to be at hand and she wanted to make a physical representation of an abstract concept. The essay resonated with people, so spoons became entrenched. And now I hear people say that they’re all out of spoons to express the idea that they’ve done all that they can that day.
Oh. I thought it was supposed to be about how hard it would be to do stuff while carrying around spoons in your hands all day.
I think it is a case of using a purposefully absurd metaphor because more straight forward ones are too obviously in conflict with basic immutable, toxic aspects of people’s belief systems (drilled and blasted through in their childhoods) that function to labotomize their empathy for the hardships of others.
You know how like other cultures use fairy tales and myths to talk about taboos or impossible truths so does “western” culture use the absurd framework of spoons to talk about the “impossible” state of being incapable of what the ruling class demands of us daily.
Poké Ball Theory
spoon theory
Thanks for introducing me to a new concept (or at least a term for it), always nice to learn something new.
Looks like various places sell them, here’s an Etsy one I found: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1596896586/my-social-battery-funny-lapel-pin-hard
Cheaper on Aliexpress - https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256805606378142.html
How are they so cheap? Also how can that other person just resell them marked up and not feel like an asshat?
imagine flirting with someone and she slides her genderfluid pronoun pin from she/her to he/they
That would be awesome for a person with a compatible gender. Like, you are so interesting and attractive I’m willing to expand my horizons.
Thats gotta be the funniest fucking trans joke I have seen in A LONG TIME.
IM NOT BEING SARCASTIC BTW, I MEAN THIS. God I wish I could give awards…
Is this supposed to be indicating a problem because like if you like a person why should it matter what gender they are?
I thought people agreed about being born gay and stuff? Are you saying you think it’s a choice?
i honestly have no idea what this would indicate i sorta spat it out automatically like an llm
Ah, okay, thanks for explaining to us.
Mine would always be red.
Well maybe if you remember to plug it in every once in awhile
So that’s what I was doing wrong, just needed to use a plug to recharge!
This plug is not meant to enter an electric socket, mind you!
Yeah, just make sure to plug it into the right port this time.
An icepick counts as a plug, right?
Ive been considering getting one of these honestly. as an introvert there are just some days where I really don’t want to talk to people but retail doesn’t care about that and I need money. at least having some kind of gague seems better than just glowering and hoping i don’t have to deal with small talk
You’d just be drawing more attention to yourself… Or inviting a challenge
“let me fix that for you”
- drags it to positive
I’d rather take that then yet another soulless ‘how are you today’
just reply with “no, i’m not”
Do it the German way and just trauma dump. I mean if they didn’t care they shouldn’t have asked.
In Germany “how are you” is also smalltalk but you are not expected to lie. Just keep it short.
“Wie geht’s?”
“Nicht so gut gerade und bei dir?”
People do that to me all the time. I just seem to radiate safety and people dump everything. I get that they need it, and sometimes (when I’m in a good headspace) I’m happy to provide an outlet for people who need one, but it gets really exhausting. I don’t even like small talk, I only bother with pleasantries because I’m supposed to, apparently.
(That trauma dumping is totally not the norm around here…)
i’ve tried that but then we both lose
You don’t think people would go “aww how come you are down? Let me cheer you up”?
It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up. My understanding is the misery, for lack of a better word, is more comforting to many as it reminds them of when they were young (or they emulate what they saw around them as children)
It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up.
I get that 100% and, although I am sure I made the mistake before, I am trying hard to understand and respect these boundaries
I am just saying I believe wearing such a pin to avoid people would have a noticeable cobra effect
Ahh I get u now. Yeah, that’s totally true
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Red = I inform people on my current mental state
Green = I inform people on my current mental state
Wearing pin at all = I inform people on my current mental state
Taking care of yourself is step 1 to being good to others. Ignoring your depletion only leads to growth of anger and worsening relationships with people around you. Ain’t it better to let them know you’re not in the mood and this has nothing to do with them personally?
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Who fucking beat you as a kid? Good god.
Imagine getting this pent up and angry OVER A FUCKING PIN. Im sorry but if that’s the way you act over a piece of metal, that’s entirely a you problem. If you get mad because someone wants to express how they currently feel at the time, THAT’S ON YOU. Its fine to disagree, but being a mega dick about it is another fucking ballgame. No wonder customers prolly dont fucking like you.
The pin may not even fucking be for the customers, It could be for SHIT coworkers like you who act like fucklords over someone elses business. You’re the type of person that if you were a teacher and saw a child using a sparkly, decorated pencil or showing a shoulder, You’d shit yourself screaming before sending them to the principal’s office.
It’s obvious here you don’t need the pin, your personality is enough for people to go “Yikes! I really don’t wanna talk to this guy”
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Oh no, I’m fired from a job I never got and a job you never managed. Sobsob
Guess that hit too close to home for ya huh?
I like you, Cock_Inspecting_Asexual. You have a way with words.
Daw thanks :3
It would absolutely be nice to regulate your expression based on how another person feels. That’s basic empathy and compassion.
And even as a customer, I do care about people who deliver services to me, and do not want to make their day worse. Moreover, I think treating workers as something more than soulless dispensers might bring us all closer together, and help us understand each other, which ultimately leads to more love and care in the world and less isolation - which, in turn, is considered to be one of the primary ways to combat mental health crises.
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It is important! No matter what, an employee must be polite and do their job. Moreover, the customer can have a pin as well, which may dictate how they should be approached.
The most asinine, self-centered thing I’ve seen today has got to be you assuming that the emotional state of your employees, which the goods and services you offer depend on for sales, is something that they should simply magically suppress for the sake of customers.
Do you think this employee is going to check the mood of each customer?
Buddy, if every customer going through the checkout line at the grocery store I work for had this pin on, it would make judging how much small talk people want loads easier, and would save me, and them, a huge mental headache. That said, if only I were to choose to wear that pin, I don’t think indicating to customers how up I am for small talk would make me an asshole.
If you were my boss, and wanted to deliberately disregard my mental state because you felt it would make you a few more bucks, that would make you the asshole.
Get your priorities straight.
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It isn’t supposed to say “I don’t want to talk to you”, but rather “I’d love to talk to you, but I’m exhausted”. They’ll also probably still talk to you, but just won’t be able to be as energetic.
if everything smells like shit wherever you go, it’s time to look at the bottom of your own shoes…
~(i’m saying you’re the asshole)~How is 🙂 an asshole mood though?
Imagine seeing one of these and believing that you’re so special that you don’t drain other people’s social batteries. So you get offended when you learn that you go.
You’ve just charged my battery!
Not everyone feels drained by talking to people. I’d say most people don’t. Some people, a lot of people actually, get energized talking with people.
I believe scientific studies say it’s somewhere around half of each.
The reason you don’t see that, is because it’s considered socially unacceptable to get socially drained, so we learn to hide it, usually from very young.
Yeah I was very ready to disagree with it being most people as that is far from my experience. I also come from one of those northern european countries that others describe as cold and closed of because we have a much more introvert aligned culture. And the fact that I’m someone who gets drained probably also biases my sample to more like minded people.
I think you described quite accurately the difference between introverts and extroverts.
Extroverts gain energy with social interaction whereas it costs energy for introverts to be in these social interactions.
Something something social vampirism?
Two extroverts talking would be both charging without anyone being drained. Masturbatory vampirism.
Hehehe. Thanks for the chuckle!
Not everyone feels drained by talking to people
And those people wouldn’t be wearing this pin.
People that feel drained from socializing feel that way with everybody.
I get energized from conversation and would totally wear this pin
I think it would be funny to slide it up throughout a social event
This pin is not made for them. What is your point?
The point is that you don’t need to think you’re special, or have some unique arrogance to think that you don’t drain people’s batteries. Younger extroverts have no awareness that there are people who get drained through human interactions.
Ok then we are on the same boat and I misunderstood you
I’ve actually bought some of these for some autistic children I used to work with. It gave them agency, even if they weren’t able to communicate it verbally.
if you can’t handle dealing with endless insufferable people and decided to sign up for a barista job, then that’s definitely on you
this just drained my battery
Let me translate that.
If you get overworked at an exploitative minimum wage job, then that’s definitely on you
There are many different minimum wage jobs out there. Speaking as an introvert who has had several of them, if small talk is that taxing for you then you should consider a job with less intrinsic social requirements.
Hey look it’s a comment from the parallel universe where we live in an anarcho communist society and don’t have to work to live. What’s it like being able to make coersion-free choices about how to spend your time?
Exactly, just be born to rich parents smh my head
Very classy, victim-blaming people that need to eat and pay rent.
on the one hand, victim blaming is bad, and we shouldn’t do that. On the other hand, there isn’t a shortage of bullshit dead end jobs that don’t require previous experience, so you can absolutely get a job that is more or less customer facing if need be.
I definitely feel like there’s a correlation between jobs being entry level and being customer facing. Also in many jobs of any level you still have “customer management” even if that customer can take different shapes than the usual retail crowd, but that’s not always a good thing.
Restaurants have kitchen staff. Retail has merchandisers and night crew. I’m sure I can come up with more if I put any effort into it whatsoever. I’m not saying that customer facing jobs aren’t the majority of entry level positions, but they’re far from all of them.
i was a barista for well over 10 years (as an introvert to boot). it’s 100% a side gig. it may cover some food and gas, but NO ONE is paying rent with barista pay, especially since they cut labor every time it’s “slow” for 20 minutes.
i stayed there because of the free pound of coffee every week and flexibility, but don’t act like it’s always the only thing between the workers and homelessness
Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to pay the bills!
That probably includes not offending the customers lol
That depends, some people need to be offended and get a reality check. Otherwise just muttering imprecations jnder your breath against humanity at large will get you through the day.
Barista is also traditionally supplemented by tips, which are likely to suffer if you’re wearing a pin that makes the customer feel like a burden.
“Traditionally” in US
No matter how endless or insufferable people might be, that job may still be preferable for someone than the alternative opportunities available.
Assuming that the person has any other opportunities.
Why is the side that says “I want to be alone” red and the social side green though?
There is a difference between having a smaller social battery, and being asocial.
this comment broke my brain
Because it’s directed at other people and instructs them on how safe it is to approach you
Everyone should own one of these.
Extroverts dont have that AFAIK
They can just leave it at full.
They have it the other way around
I came in here for a store link. 🤣
Look up “social battery level pin” (through eg. Qwant or Startpage, and don’t use an Amazon link or such). You’ll find it.
If I see anyone wearing this I will make it a mission to get it down to zero. Then I’ll come up with efficient strategies to grind it down. I’ll try and beat my new best time. I see this as a challenge.
But the best part is? Once it reaches zero, I leave them alone. Because I still respect them as a person
If you were given me that attention, my gauge would go green.
What if they’re working, or have other obligations that require social battery charge? Your personal mission may have ruined their day.
Are you an energy vampire?
YES
Joke’s on you, I would slide it down all the way to zero as soon as I leave home
The smart thing to do
Just wearing this isn’t an open invitation for people (read: you) to be pieces of shit and nothing anyone is wearing gives you the right to monopolize their time or energy.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
“One of the best ways to drain people’s energy is via the internet.” —Colin RobinsonI really like brutalism, especially when contrasted with greenery. A set of brutalist apartment blocks, with ample space between each of them, which contains native flora would be rather beautiful. The space between the blocks could also be used as a communal barbeque place. Or a fitness trail.
semi-related but my economics teacher on the first day said “you can’t offend me, I’ve been a national football/baseball/other sport coach for 20 years. I’ve been called every name in the book!”
3rd week of school as he was talking about how socialism is the devil, showing videos of cubas abandoned builds and stuff, I said “I did the math and you make 0.0006771% of what Jeff bezos makes in a year.”
He admitted defeat but still didn’t give me extra credit like he said he would as a joke :/
Buddy, this is a good way to get some unlicensed dental work.
Facts.
isn’t that how batteries work though
