We need to start recognizing corporate greed as a mental disorder. This is a company large enough that employees don’t interact with the owner directly, and all the profits from the company aren’t enough for the owner: they also want the pen the delivery guy gave you. It’s a sickness.
No.
In our company this is a bribe and we don’t accept bribes.
What are you, a cop?
They can’t be a cop if they don’t accept bribes.
Best start having takeaway cups at home next time somebody comes by to install something, just in case they need to take the gift which is my offering of coffee or tea, to their bosses…
Food? So if a client takes me for a meal I have to make sure to vomit it onto my boss’ desk when I get back to the office?
Obviously not. You order it to go, sit there awkwardly while the client eats, then bring the box of cold food to the manager who the gives it to the owner eventually.
Yeah, that company has red flags.
Red flag number 1: the contents of the note
Red flag number 2: using duct tape to attach the note to the wall. Hints at a huge managerial Skill Issue.
A proper company would instead be talking about compliance and how gifts of really any meaningful value have to be rejected outright.
Once a user came into our office on the verge of tears. Her notebook wouldn’t boot and she thought that meant her thesis was lost.
Didn’t make a backup either.
But luckily it was the mainboard that quit and not the SSD. So we were able to decrypt it and get her up and running again. After we told her to make a backup next time, she was so happy that she wanted to give us money. We refused.
Come next day, she stormed in, without saying a word. Just threw a pile of candy and a handful of soft drinks on our table and ran off before we could do anything about it.
Fuck you, boss. That’s our candy now.
Thats a great feeling. I did extremely low level tech support for other students while at uni. in 2003 (Think issuing user names, filling copy paper, sorting out storage space allocation on the shared drives.) Small part time job that paid for boze. A girl came in with a 3.5" floppy disk on the verge of tears and said she couldn’t get the file on it. It was her master thesis and the only place she had stored it. We still had floppy disk drives and I slitted it in and used a dos shell to acess a: but nothing. No disk in drive. I took the floppy out and noticed that the metal protection of the actuall disk (that soft plastic circle) didn’t slide properly. To me it looked like the spring was just to worn and had no tension. Took it off and could then access the files on it. Error was that the spring wasn’t able to slide the metal protector away when inserted into the reader.
Copied the files to her “home” area, sent a copy by email and gave her a new floppy with the files and told her about the importance of back ups.
The sheer look of relief and gratitude was priceless.
The whole story just warms my heart.
Heroes definitelly don’t always wear capes!
usually, you’re supposed to turn down the gift, this is just wrong
I’ve heard stories of clients giving gifts getting pissed when the wrong person claims them, so it’s risky for not just legal reasons
Pretty sure I just got
anti-briberyethics and compliance training that said no one in my company is allowed to accept such gifts lolYeah we had that training. Not that anyone ever offers me bribes anyway.
It’s like all the lies about the drug dealers giving kids free drugs. Never happens.
Same
“Oh, thanks! What I’d like is some extremely hot sauce in a bottle labelled ‘ketchup’”.
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Have vendor take you out to lunch.
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Walk into bosses office and regurgitate the lunch onto their desk.
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Profit?
Make sure the vendor buys you a nice boozy drink. Some top shelf whiskey or something. Bosses love top shelf whiskey.
And make sure you get something that looks absolutely repulsive after you vomit it back up. I’d recommend a Greek Salad, extra feta.
Take long enough and you can just shit on the boss’s desk, slap down the paper, and ask for a “thank you” for bringing back some lunch.
Let’s be fair: by that stage you should probably also draw some blood and leave it there.
Wouldn’t want to unwittingly be keeping from the boss the nutrients from that free meal.
Take a picture of the shit and add it to the expense report. Make sure you notate that you did not keep the gift and instead rescinded ownership to your boss.
Take a picture? How are they going to smell or taste it? Either shit at work and don’t flush or shit on the floor at work if you want to flush.
For good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch.
No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That’s on your time.
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If you’re in the USA, please feel fee to photograph and submit to NLRB for review. They like it when the guilty type it up and post it.
Nlrb is dead in the trump era. Rip
State Labor boards should be largely unaffected, and are usually the ones to actually punish the offenders anyway.
Federalism for the win I guess
Some companies would tell you not to take gifts in case they look like bribes
In some type of job it is even illegal
When I worked for a major database company they made me take annual training to explain that I wasn’t allowed to buy sex workers for potential clients.
Duh, buying them would be capex. No one wants to do depreciation. Short term lease with a damage clause.
“buy”
So renting is not an issue! Or as a Service…
So many options left. Next time I talk to big red I’ll ask the rep about his interpretation of this training.
;)
So Oracle.
Was after the catapult incident?
Ootl…did the catapult incident involve a sex worker?
Multiple sex workers.
I’m even more ootl. What happened?
Were there multiple catapults, as well?
Nope, just one catapult firing sex workers into a hotel room and one of the calculations was off and she went splat.
Oh, so only one sex worker was involved in the catapult incident. The rest were no incident.
My handbook at work specifically bans buying illicit drugs for customers with the company card.
It doesn’t say anything about buying it with my card and getting reimbursed though…
Make sure the dealer gives you a receipt.
…it feels like they told you whixh sex workers not to hire.
One place i worked at collected all gifts and had a lottery at Christmas, where employees could win them. I feel that’s a fair way to deal with this.
Oh that’s neat! I bet it could get out of hand though at a particularly high dollar company
That’s true, but this directs them to the owner anyway, which is the same thing. It just goes to someone else. If this was actually anti-bribery policy, gifts should not be accepted full stop.
There is usually a common-sense bar where this is applied though. Some items on that list would for sure apply, but in that case the employee should politely decline, not hand the goods over to the owner. I’d like to think that’s fake. But, I can imagine that it’s very real somewhere.;
lol
Usually these things will just say you can’t accept such items because it could be considered a bribe or at the very least unprofessional. And here we have an asshole straight up saying “give your bribes to me!”
I’m just thinking of all the times customers offered me food and drink while servicing them as an internet service installer. You gonna take all my Dr. Pepper and tacos, too, boss? How 'bout I leave 'em in a pile on your desk after I’m done?
Been with several companies that have the first part in their policy. It makes sense to avoid, or at best minimize an external influencing factor in company activities. Basically they don’t want to mess with lawsuits. That’s what company policy is for, protect the company.
The rest is owner greed. He doesn’t want the gifts to stop, he wants them all without doing anything to get them. Either enforce a ‘no gifts, period’ policy or let people do what they will.
