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Alexa is the intruder itself.
Indeed. Why would anyone use them despite not even getting paid for it but paying for it?
Lmao, I assumed it was free spyware, ppl pay for it too? Ayyyroflufocopter.
But hey, it can also switch on your lights and play music. If you also pay for prime :-)
Home Assistant!
Then release a dozen roombas
With frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads
WHERES THE HEAD ON A ROOMBA??? 😳
Opposite the tail
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W̵̧͚͔͖͇̝͕͚̪̝̫̫̼͋͜ͅͅḤ̸̢̡̧͚̖̞̜̟̝͎͎̰̫̪̰̗̳͍̪͙̣͚̤̞̈͑̊̅̐̿̄̉̾͂͋̚͘͝͝Ë̵̺̼͈̭̼̪͕̟̯̖̠̩̝̖́͋̀͋͂̿̇̑̎̑̉́̅͂̾̎͛̚R̵̢̛̬͎̼̮͍̹̭̼̈̐̋̐̋͋͊̒̌͒͘̕͘͝ͅE̷̢̛͓͙̤̺̱͕̯͔͙̫̠̮̘̠̭͙̭͓̗̼͓̼͖̦̙̥̻̟̦͒͆̈́̎͆͐̃͛͒̀̈́͊̋̿̈́̄̃̆͒͐̿̋̓̑́͒͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅS̷̡̢̨̧̛͔̯̦̺̯̹̠̪̒̈́̉̎͆̔͗̏͂͠ͅ ̷̢͎̙̜̫͚̰̙̙̅́̿̉̿̒̂͊͂̃̋̀̅̒͋͆̔̈̋̈́̔̋͝͠ͅT̴̡̨̢̢̰̘̜͖̯̹͚̜̯̖̖̲̰͍̯̮̲̙̟̰̩̪̱͔̩̺̞͖̫̖̋́̉̿̈́̓͗̍̒̇̆̈́̾͛̎̊̈́́̍̈̂̀͌̋̀̄͊̌̋͗͒̀̕̚͘͜͝͠͝͝Ḧ̸̢͎́̋̌̾͗̑́̓͒̈́̇́̒͂̿̇̆̅̈͊̐̓̄̀̊̚̚͝͝͝͠͝Ę̸̡̲̪͔͎̱͉̯̹͔̜̮̗̤̫̦̞̤͎̗̖́͐̀̄͆̂̀̓̒̿͗͐̈͌͗̏̓̅͜ ̶̡̢̛̟̙̗̩̝̮̤͛̎͒̇͌̏̄̉̀̈́̀̽̔̅̉̚F̷̨̖̰͎̟͎͔͔͓̻͔̤̥͔͒̍̀͊̌̒͂̔̍̐͑̃̄̈́͌̿͊͆̓̆́͜͝Ư̷̧̧̥̘̹̘͖̣̞̹̳̾̎̈̀͜C̷̼͒̈̅̉͑͊̐̌̽̒̀͐̋̚͝K̸̢̧͎̞͍̝͍͎̥̬͓̱͙̦̠͓̜̣̣̜̤̩̫͕̻̟̪̿̔͑̂̈͒̈́͛̈̌̈́̃̓̆͋̄̒̓̔͗̈́̆̄̅̅̃̚̚̚͜Į̴͔͉͉̮͕̗̞̮̼̠͚͍̯̫̼͓̜̠̙̼̺̥̲̦͕͎̱̞̑̓̑̀̒̆͛́͊͗̾̌̇͒͒̀̌̂́͒́̊̉͠ͅŅ̶̡̧̤̰̜̺͔̱̙̤̫͇̼̳̫̤͖͇̪̣͍̘̩̬̞͈͓̘̖̝̲̓͐͂̾̔͂̔ͅͅͅG̸̰̯̠̬̐̎̾̏̂̉́̉͊̅͑͊̍̉͐̈́̎̈̌̍͋͗̑̀̽͊̏̄̈́͘̕͘͘͝ ̷̨̧̹̖̣͉̖͔̩̯͑̾̎̂̊͊́̓̉̑͘͘͝͝͝͝T̸̡̻͓̬̻̜̹̠̭͙̞̩̦̜͇͈̦̖̖̞̫̫̭̱͓̝̭͓̼̯͍̩̝̫͑̽͊͒͑̾͊̓̌͗̚̕̚͜͝͠ͅA̴͙̗̦̱̣̗͕͉͆̈́̚ͅȊ̷̧̧̢̢̧̢̗̱͓̗͈̟̠̩̳͙̹̠̜͎̬̞̯͕͕̺̭̖͈̗͓̺̣͚̖̄͒̆̀̌͜Ḻ̷̨̢̦̦̦͕͇͙͚̙̜͎̙͔̯̺͖͖̳͙̝͔̗̬̯̃̎̋͂͆̒̾̿
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Posterior to the head.
You know, I had one simple request
Now redo it in HomeAssistant and with selfhosted music to get rid of the surveillance in your home.
The intruder was Alexa
Well, this break and enter has turned into an execution for the mashing of IP.
The TOS Kirk v. Hostile alien music would be more appropriate. The Borg never threatened to kill, they aren’t Ingo Montoya.
with jim carreys cable guy version dubbed over top
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaahhhhh!!!
*Bingo Montoya
Fuck that noise.
You want a fight? You better be blasting Duel of the Fates, otherwise I don’t want any.
I always thought it’d be cool to build one of those remote controled nerf tanks but with a paintball gun. Then set it to patrol the house. It’s a lot more doable now that I’m running home assistant but I’m still not sure how yo make it happen.
Sounds like something Michael Reeves would make
I believe in your dream and I hope one day you can make this happen.
With pepperballs
You should really consider never using Alexa again.
Seriously, this is Spyware in your home for Amazon, and they work with and share their data with law enforcement.
Imperial March is out of sorts here. The alert the message and then a John Williams march? Get some audio to set the mood, like No Love by Death Grips or Caledonia by Cro-Magnon.
Yakety sax and have a robot shoot paintballs with gentian violet die. (Doesn’t wash off, if you use enough it will soak through clothes so masks aren’t so useful.)
I prefer Ride of the Valkyries to Imperial March.
Does the floor lamp have a “strobe” mode?
Also deploy disco ball from ceiling
This is actually a better home protection plan than “have loaded guns in every room in case I need to draw on the baddies stealing my Xbox as they barge into my living room and I dive behind the sofa.” It will scare 9/10 burglars away, and it gives you an opportunity to set up a defensive position without noise giving it away.
Thisiswherethefunbegins.wav
My alarm is seriously like that! I put an air raid siren
Red spy in the base?
What’re you? President of his fan club?
Say “I’m gonna do to you what Janeway should have done to Tuvix at the start of the episode.”
Play “Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows - 12 hour version”
