I mean to be clear I’m from altoona and I’ve never seen pizza like this.
Would you like a stroke?
Say what?
Would you like a pizza with a side of stroke hun?
Nah, but can I get it will a double pounder heart attack? And a side of diarrhea? I’m trying to keep my height to weight ratio.
Every person I’ve shared Altoona pizza with ironically has ended up unironically liking it, so I don’t know anymore. I’ve never actually had it myself. Maybe this isn’t any worse than Hawaiian pizza or cauliflower crust pizza?
At the end of the day though, this is just a regional food - like Cincinnati chili or Chicago hot dog - only after all the good ideas are taken, this was what was left. If they can sell one to everybody passing through Altoona just once, they’ve made a fair amount of money.
Cincinnati chili is beloved by Cincinnati, though…
Mayon-egg
Heart disease
I don’t think it’s any less healthy than ordinary pizza. Just tastes like trash.
Cheddar has more calories and fat than mozzarella. It’s also more processed and has more additives.
That ain’t cheddar. It’s American.
As I already said, “american” cheese is called cheddar pretty much everywhere.
That doesn’t look like any cheddar I’ve ever seen
“american” cheese is called cheddar in pretty much everywhere I’ve been around the globe.
There must not be much overlap in the countries we’ve visited then, because I’ve never seen this personally; one of the things I was glad for when I returned to the UK after while backpacking through Europe was being able to buy cheddar cheese in supermarkets again — it was non-existent in all the European shops I’d visited, and we usually settled for Edam or Gouda
Edit: I reread my comment and I realised it sounded super passive aggressive and that wasn’t at all my intention. My sample size of European countries is 5, which is far from representative for Europe, let alone the world
The American Cheese with Pizza
that tweet reply is just 👄🤌
And they say white people have no culture.
Grand sweeping gesture
No-one ever talks about white on white violence
I mean, sandwich bread, tomato sauce, ham and cheese on top, it’s not a pizza, it’s a microwaved 3am sandwich
Yup. This is a stoner snack.
Not cheese. Kraft fucking singles
Kraft singles are still cheese. They’ve just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.
That actually makes them super useful in making a cheese sauce.
Add a few slices to a queso and it will not break.
You fat. Smooth cheesey sauce that comes out perfect every time.
You can make sodium citrate with lemon juice and baking soda. Lime juice also works. Really any citric acid.
Anyway, you don’t need much to make cheese melt smoothly.
We literally bought a can of sodium citrate to adulterate cheese at home.
Our nacho cheese is fucking amazing, and the cheese-milk ratio is absurd compared to what we used to be able to get. We can do 40% milk 60% cheddar and it still works. We stir in garlic, chili, cumin, salt and pepper, too.
Kraft singles are still cheese. They’ve just been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate.
No, if it was just cheese that’s been pasteurized and adulterated with sodium citrate it would be pasteurized process cheese. A couple other additional additives are acceptable.
When it has other additives but is at least half cheese by weight it’s pasteurized process cheese food.
When it’s pasteurized process cheese product it’s not meeting any of those standards. Often because it’s less than half cheese or an addictive outside the accepted list to meet the other definitions is being used. Milk protein concentrate is an example, but also increasing the fat content with something like vegetable oil or adding flavoring agents to make the result taste more like cheese.
The FDA caught Kraft singles not meeting the definition of pasteurized process cheese food something like 20 years ago which is why it’s labeled a pasteurized process cheese product.
For any curious, the sodium citrate is an emulsifying agents that helps the natural cheeses used melt together smoothly, and pasteurization was originally done to prolong the life of the resultant mixed cheese as the whole original point of American cheese was to reprocess ends and scraps into something homogeneous and comparatively safe for long distance overland transport before refrigerated trucks were a thing.
You fat
Rude
💀 I also read it that way
When night munchies comes… You don’t care about quality of ingredients, anyway it’s just a slapstick sandwich and not a pizza, only “crime” they do is calling it pizza and pricing it as such, if it was marketed as cheap slapstick sandwiches on the go, i don’t think anyone would have problems with that
There’s also the issue of Kraft being a shite company.
This is a fucking culinary crime.
There better be chilli fries under that cheese
Are those fucken Kraft singles? That’s deplorable and I am disgusted beyond the spiritual realm.
Y’all better be careful or you’re going to fall down a rabithold of locally celebrated yet disgusting pizza in PA. It’s like a whole thing there.
I knew PA was evil, but I never knew just how horrible.
I am biased being from NJ, but these pizzas vindicate me!
I propose the removal of Pennsylvania, except Philadelphia theyre chill.
its cuz PA west of the Appalachins is basically the midwest. it’s like having next door neighbors from Iowa
We call it “Pennsyltuckey”
Weren’t they a murder capital for a bit?
Yes, why do you think I like them?
They fucked up that hiking robot or doll or whatever it was pretty quick, after having gone through like Canada and the Northeast.
Not even pineapple could save that.
I’m the one to do gross shit like dip a dill pickle in mayonnaise at 3am, and even this looks objectively horrifying to me
