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Fuck it, there is no substitute.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pzagBTcYsYQ
(if i could i would upload the original flash animation from albino black sheep)
I hate how hard it’s to convey this masterpiece of a meme to younger audience now that Newgrounds doesn’t use the music background anymore and ng isn’t a default go to media place for them. Even Know Your Meme doesn’t mention why this is created.
I missed the NG era as a young lad. Would you please elaborate?
Newgrounds used to have audio visualizer, one of it feature the badger, mushroom, and snake, so someone went and create this song as a joke, and it blows up because some of us will have that visualizer running.
It’s also catchy.
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Wisconsinite here where the badger is native and the mascot for the University of Wisconsin is the Badger.
This meme is inaccurate.
The American Badger will also remove your kidneys and sell them on the black market as well, to support their meth habit.
The badger moniker comes from lead miners that initially settled the Wisconsin territory. They often didn’t even bother building homes at first and just lived in their wildcat lead mines, like a badger.
TIL!
I’ve lived in Wisconsin since 2006 and did not know that.
Thank you!
I’m in new mexico and saw a badger crossing the road while I was driving to work. It stopped in the middle of the road, turned towards me and waited, like it was deciding whether or not to fuck up the large metal thing coming towards it. Then slowly turned and continued on it’s way when it decided I wasn’t worth it. No fear whatsoever.
I had a huge buck do that to me once. It was like 3am and the thing just casually walked out into the road in front of my truck and looked at me like “…what?”
yeah 3 am riding my little motorcycle through an appalachian holler so slowly because the mist was overwhelming and blinding and suddenly i was surrounded by a couple deer and a giant buck… i was like i don’t know if they can accelerate faster than me but i’ll try. i made it out, but if i hadn’t been so slow, i would have crashed into a deer or crashed from swerving
But the American badger turns out to just want to drink a beer and talk about sports whereas the European badger, after having sat you down for some tea and buttered crumpets, reveals itself to be a racist eugenicist
TBH, “reveals itself by shivving you anyway” is probably closer to the truth with Brittons and their tea.
Don’t ask the le posh civil gentlesir Euro badger their opinion of Romani people.
“It’s not racist because it’s true, they really should be exterminated.”
Racisto? Europians? What an absolutely outrageous accusation. Badgers on
No dude, you’re thinking of the other kind of British. I’m pretty sure their badgers are related to the homosapiens poulus aggressor, more commonly known as “football hooligans” to the locals.
90% of the time Euro badgers do that
10% of the time they scream “Eulalia!” and tear you limb from limb
Redwallposting
I just want a seat at the table for one of their feasts.
Is there a Redwall community? I’m tempted to make one but I have no idea how
Not that I know of, go for it (idk how to make one either)
Or split your skull with a halberd
Brother in law had a huge wolf dog. The kind that can put it’s paws on your shoulders and look at you face to face. Massive. He got in a tussel with a badger and got tore up, took two weeks to heal. Then took off and came back with a 40 lbs badger in his mouth. Overall a 40 lbs meth badger = 150 lbs wolf dog.
Dog had a bone to pick with that badger
That was a good boy
Badger Boogaloo 2 - Payback is a Bitch.
Was it the same badger?
Australian badgers are half this size, have no teeth at all, but can project venom 50ft from a gland in their nostril. The venom is completely harmless to humans, however it soaks into the skin and causes a pheromone to be emitted from the lungs such that when you are asleep, it attracts 14 different species of deadly venomous spiders that are attracted to your airway from up to a 4km radius.
I’m pretty sure you made this up, so i believe it completely.
This is all true but it’s missing a key detail. The Australian badger is actually completely unrelated to the European and American badgers (which are mustelids). The Australian badger is a marsupial most closely related to the Tasmanian devil.
I don’t want to know if this is true or not. Nobody look it up.
No.
Those are the ones related to drop bears, right? I mean they’ve gotta be.
Of course Australian badgers would do this.
You had me in the first half
That’s worse. So much worse. “I won’t kill you but you’ll wish I did”
Wat.
It sounds kinda based on stink badgers but they also aren’t in Australia.
Reality is that they’ll both kill you. European badgers are just more classy about it.
“oh dear oh dear i’m so sorry about this, i really am.”
European badger will poison your tea. American badger will mount your freshly-severed head above his oversize fireplace.
That sounds more like a Canadian badger
Having recently learned that they were bred specifically to hunt badgers, I wonder how a dauchshund would fare against North American badgers 🤔
Having met dachshunds, and having met American badgers, I’m going to put my bet on “poorly”
A couple hundred years of bred instincts aren’t going to save the walking hotdog from the meth bear
I have three dachshunds. Two minis, Mary & Maizie, and a full size, Monty.
Mary we often call a little wolverine, because she can be vicious when she plays, making the most horrific noises you’ve ever heard out of any creature, much less someone that looks so absolutely disgustingly cute and adorable.
Her sister, Maizie, is the sweetest, kindest, shyest and nicest creature. Unless she sees a rat. Then it’s terrifying. She makes no sound as she runs at full speed, and snaps it up and shakes at the speed of sound. I don’t think her feet even touch the ground.
Monty is the biggest baby, he just wants to sleep and cuddle, even when he was a puppy. Unless you touch his mama. I am not allowed to hug my own mother, because he stands there and barks and howls and shoves his body between whoever’s touching her and her. Lol.
If anything of them could take a badger it would Maizie, but I don’t think even she could.
Also, this was originally supposed to be much shorter and more on topic, but then I had a chance to describe my dogs, and, y’know, muh babies!
Our dog is the most kind lovable 70 pound Belgian Shepard you’ll ever meet.
On leash if she sees a coyote, bobcat, or mountain lion she turns into a Hollywood snarl machine. That super deep rumble.
One day a cat chased our cat back to the door. I opened it to get him inside but I unwittingly unleashed a silent tan streak. The only reason the other cat survived was it jumped off the porch and went straight up a tree. Our cat came out to gloat and our dog did the tippy taps right there under the tree.
I have the most lovable furry criminal gang.
The Finnish name for dachshund is literally badgerdog (mäyräkoira) btw.
Edit: til that’s also the German name. Others?
Well, Dachshund is literally German for badger dog. (Dachs = badger, Hund = dog)
It depends on how many dachshunds you’re willing to lose.
I remember learning that after my dad told me stories about badgers near the Minnesota farm where he grew up killing dogs significantly larger than dachshunds and thinking “how the fuck does that work??”
It takes a slinky to beat a slinky
He’s just a lil guy diesBadgers? We don’t need no stinking badgers!
Mushroom mushroom.
That’s exactly what badgers do in the stories of Beatrix Potter
Cook meth?
…Forbidden Beatrix Potter.
Wait till you hear what they do in Brian Jacques’ Redwall series!
Having just visited the Lakes District, it’s wild how much Beatrix Potter stores there are.
I guess that’s why my American ass grew up with Beatrix Potter. My English grandparents had a caravan in the lake district
Yep! Potter owned a fuck ton of land in that area and donated it to the national trust, which is a big reason why the entire area is the British equivalent of a national park.
the British equivalent of a national park
You mean… a national park?
Honey badgers will fuck up your shit simply because it was there.
could one say, they don’t give a shit?
honey badger don’t care
I love this meme, and nearly commented it myself to the top comment, but i learned an american badger != a honey badger :(
Lol, dang. TIL. I almost googled it, but I’m happier learning it vicariously through you. Takes some of the brunt of the blow.
Ye, they are apparently a different race of badgers!
Source : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger
